smooth seas do not make skilful sailors
by misswhiteblack
Summary: .a collection of challenges written by me for the HPFC Forum Wide Competition.
1. Flying Too Close To The Sun

**House:** Ravenclaw  
**Prompt:** Regulus Black

* * *

**Flying too close to the sun**

He has never found this so difficult before but it seems to becoming more and more so as the days, weeks, months pass by and he feels a little like he is drowning in a web of lies wrought with confusion even though he doesn't know what it feels like to drown. He wishes sometimes that he was a child again because as a child he could escape the ideas and the fear that is growing around him, as a child he was innocent. Not anymore, not now he has blood on his hands. He tries not to think about it but his sleep pattern seems to be getting disturbed more and more by wretched images of those who have fallen as his hands. The tears of those hurt and the faces of the men willing to die for their families haunt his dreams night after night until he really doesn't want to sleep again. Then again he really doesn't want to stay awake. It's just getting too hard to face his day to day life now and it's been getting worse even since he took the dreaded mark. It could have all been very different but he refuses to think of that and he tries to lock his heart away to dull the ache that life has left on him with its cruel jokes. So he wanders the streets at night and tries to stay away from his family home because he just can't stand the pride on their faces and the requests to hear what he had done that day. It made him feel sick that they revelled in the idea of other people hurting and he knows what they would say if they could hear him thinking like this. "They're not people, Regulus. They're filthy scum." He doesn't really think that way and he's just been sucked into this pureblood mania because it's what his parents wanted for them and after the let down Sirius had become how could he refuses them. He should have stood with his brother and he knows that. It was too late now, far too late to turn back.

So in the dead of night he wanders the streets trying to escape the dreams and the images. He apparates all over the place so he never has to look at the same streets twice trying to drive the thoughts from his mind so that when he stood in front of the Dark Lord there was nothing in there for him to read. He felt cowardly. Surely he should be able to do these things and then face them like a man. He couldn't though and he just wanted to get rid of them. He couldn't though. They filled up every empty space in his brain filling his senses with the things he had done, what, accordingly to his parents, he had achieved. He wasn't Bella though. He couldn't enjoy the idea of human pain, of the pain of a father as he desperately fought them off with all the strength in his body trying to protect his wife and children. He can't bear the looks on muggle faces as they take their lives and they have no idea why or how. It's sick and twisted and he has allowed himself to become like them.

He doesn't quite know where he is but he's in an alleyway dressed in muggle attire so as not to attract attention and he slides down beside some dustbins shivering a little as the cold water seeps through his trousers. He feels a little crazed because he really does not know what to do and it's like he can't focus on anything. He puts his head in his hands and sighs wondering if he just sat here for long enough he would die from the cold and put an end to everything going on inside his head. He knows however that there was no way he would be that lucky. If he were to sit here all night the only thing that would happen would be that he would get sick and his mother would scold him terribly. It would an easy cure though and he would be back doing the same things he had been doing for months now. It wouldn't get any easier and anyway allowing himself to die was a coward's way out. In his heart he knew that was why he had chosen it. He was a coward.

A door opened somewhere nearby and he drew himself closer as he hear the patter of feet as them walked into the alleyway. Underneath his jacket he clutched at his wand wondering who on earth would be out at this hour. Whoever it was they were heading directly for where he was hiding and he tried to make himself as small as possible, trying to be invisible. There was a scrape of metal as someone lifted the lid of one of the bins and then a clang as they threw something into the bin and he waited until they replaced the lid. It didn't happen however and the next thing he knew a tall, slim girl had stepped out in front of him holding the lid of the bin in her hand.

'Hello,' she said in surprise, 'what are you doing out here?'

He looked up at her but he couldn't make out her features in the dim light of the alleyway. He suspected that it meant she couldn't see him either. That meant he could stun her and get away but the images in his head kept him from doing so. Attacking another helpless muggle wasn't going to help him put his memories to rest but he didn't respond.

'You look freezing,' she told him. 'Why don't you come on in?'

He looked at her in shock as she moved away and he heard the lid being place back on the bin. He sat forward a little to see her walking toward the house at the corner of the alleyway. For some reason he got to his feet and followed her. Maybe he was curious or maybe he was just too cold to sit in the street any more. Anyway, surely some company would help to drive the images out of his mind. He watched her disappear into the house and he followed her in. The house was very muggle, he thought. The hallway was yellow with what looked like wood flooring. There were carpeted stairs and he could see the kitchen through the back. The girl had gone into the lounge which was to his right and he followed her in.

She turned towards him and he almost gasped for the likeness was undeniable in his mind. She was probably about the same height her hair was the exact shade and curled delicately from the ponytail she wore. The only thing he noticed in that moment where her eyes, they were blue not green and he was almost disappointed to find they weren't so.

'What's your name then?' she asked in a soft voice and he knew that the accent was completely wrong but it made him feel a little crazy just looking at her.

'Regulus,' he told her blinking and glancing away aware that he was staring.

'Odd name,' said the girl wrinkling up her nose a little. 'I'm Amy. Would you like a seat? Some tea?'

Regulus nodded and she disappeared into the kitchen as he settled down on one of the cream leather sofas. It had been a while since he had been in anywhere as bright as this house and he perched on the edge of the sofa unwilling to get it dirty. She had been kind to him so far and he didn't want to ruin it by leaving stains on her suite. She returned after a couple of minutes with two steaming mugs in her hands. She handed his to him and he raised his eyebrow when he saw the words "sex kitten" written down the side of it.

'Oh sorry,' she said with a laugh as she sat on the couch opposite him. 'I'm afraid that my mugs are all a bit outrageous.'

'That's okay,' he told her glancing at her mug to see that it said Best Mum. 'You have children?'

She laughed glancing at the mug and then back at him.

'No,' she told him. 'This is my mum's mug. She left it here.'

He nods a little and smiles at her because she is hard not to smile at and he is still slightly mesmerised by her resemblance to the girl he had long been trying to push out of his mind.

'So Regulus,' she said with a smile, 'what do you do?'

Regulus floundered for a moment. How did he answer that? "I'm a wizard that tortures other wizards and kills them for information and for fun I like to slaughter your kind." It was hardly polite conversation and would probably terrify her.

'I'm in security,' he answered thinking that it was stretching the truth to the limits. 'What about you?'

'I write music,' she told him with a smile, 'and I suppose I play a little as well but not very well.'

'Play me something you have written,' he asked her curious about what kind of music muggles listened to. He had heard some rather odd things coming from passing cars as boys his own age drove past.

'No honestly that'll make your ears bleed,' she said blushing a little.

'I'm sure it won't,' he argued persuasively.

She needed very little persuasion from him and she leapt up and came back with an instrument that he vaguely recognised as a guitar. It was nothing like a magical guitar but he forgot all about it when she started playing. The tune was very relaxing and he could feel himself sink deeper into her couch as she played. He focused on keeping his eyes open. It wouldn't do for him to fall asleep on her couch.

Once she finished playing they talked and Regulus was pleased to find that he could hold a decent conversation with a muggle even if he had to lie or stretch the truth to breaking points sometimes. He told her about his dreadful home life leaving out the vital points like pureblood mania and she in turn told him about her father who had died too young due to a drunk driver and how her mother had died due to liver failure from drinking. He felt comfortable with her and he liked to make her laugh because she seemed to light up the room when she did so and it remind him so much of that other girl whose name he couldn't even think.

* * *

At her invitation he returned time and again always staying later than was healthy for either of them but at her house he didn't have to be afraid. There he was just Regulus and nobody else. He wasn't a dark wizard, he wasn't a wonderful son, he wasn't an ignorant brother, he wasn't a coward, he was just Regulus. Of course he found it difficult when he had to return to his own world because he had to keep all thoughts of Amy from his mind but he found if he concentrate hard enough he could pull up that other side of him. It felt like two people, the dark wizard Regulus and Amy's Regulus.

'Stay,' she said to him one night as he had been preparing to leave and he turned to look at her and she threw herself on him kissing him with a desire he hadn't felt for a while. He kissed her back with passion and they ended up in bed together where he could only marvel more at the beauty of her before he sunk in unconscious lust.

Before he knew it he had fallen for her hook, line and sinker and it scared him a little. She was so perfect and so willing to be his and he was terrified of losing her. She understood when he explained that he never wanted her to meet his family because they were just too messed up and he wasn't a part of them anymore which was more or less true and she said that she didn't mind because she didn't have a family left anyway. So they became each other's family and for a time Regulus lived in bliss and occasionally wishing that he was a muggle because then it would be perfect. He wouldn't know what was going on at all and he and Amy could be together with no fear. Life doesn't work that way though.

He spent his days lazing out in her back garden when the sun was out and she always wore a big, ridiculous looking sunhat that he hated but she loved it so he didn't complain. She drove him to the beach and was amazed that he couldn't drive. They made love on the sand and it felt amazing to him to be so free. They didn't eat out but preferred their own company eating at Amy's. She tried to teach him how to cook but decided to give up when he was disastrous at it. He listened to every new song she wrote and applauded very loudly when she had finished every single time which made her laugh hysterically. He'd lie beside her at night and watch her sleep sometimes when he couldn't and he loved the way she muttered in her sleep. When he woke sometimes from a nightmare sweating and screaming she would hold him tight and soothe him with calm words. They were meant for each other and he'd have given everything for a life with her.

His other life was something else and every day the fear mounted. He was terrified a lot of the time and fought his hardest not to think about Amy whilst "at work". He couldn't stomach murdering any more innocent souls and tried to find some other way to be useful so he wouldn't attract attention. The more time he spent in the Dark Lord's presence the more he became suspicious about what the Dark Lord was doing but he knew better than to pry. He just eagerly waited until he could return to Amy.

Then the request came and Regulus volunteered Kreacher for the job. He was due to be at Amy's that night but instead he waited at home for Kreacher to come back. He'd had an inkling in the back of his head the moment the Dark Lord had requested the use of an elf and the moment Kreacher got back he confirmed it. Regulus knew what he had to do but it tore him apart. He never wanted to leave Amy but she was in danger, as all muggles were, if he did not try to stop the Dark Lord. So he ran to his room and he wrote her a letter trying to explain to her but not really knowing how. He gave it to his owl and gave strict instructions for the letter to go through the letter box before he left with Kreacher a locket clutched in his hand.

As the inferi pulled him deeper into the icy water Regulus tried to picture Amy's face and it blurred sometimes into the face of that other girl, the one whose name he could not say but mainly it was just Amy's face. He hoped that he hadn't caused her too much pain and that somewhere out there was someone who could take care of her properly and love her like he had loved her. That was all he wished for because she had loved him as he had loved her and that was worth everything, especially his life.

_Dearest Amy,_

_I wish I could explain but I can't.  
I told you that life was difficult for me  
but I understate it a little. I'm gone &  
I'm sorry but remember that I love you,  
more than my own life._

_Regulus  
X_

* * *

_Oooh I hope it's good.  
I also hope you lot like it.  
I'm not sure myself.  
That might be because it's 0120 hours here.  
I should be in bed._

_Kerr X._


	2. The Light Dies

**House: **Ravenclaw  
**Prompt:** Write a fic inspired by a song, poem or quote  
_Chosen Song:_ The Things We Never Did by A1  
_Characters:_ Lorcan Scamander & Lucy Weasley

* * *

**The Light Dies**

* * *

_So take a chance && come home with me.  
You could stay for eternity.  
If you try then at least you'll see  
Then we'll never regret the things we never did_

The Things We Never Did – A1

* * *

'Luce,' he calls down the corridor as he sees her walking ahead with her friends, her strawberry blonde curls dancing to the rhythm of her step the light from the windows catching her hair as she passes turning her curls into flames. He runs towards her as she turns and as she looks at him there is a moment where he is completely lost in the depths of her crystal blue eyes. She smiles at him, warm and friendly and he smiles back forgetting about her friends for a moment that are hovering by her sides.

'Hey Lorcan,' she says in her melodic voice before she tells her friends to go on without her.

He watches her friends leave just realising that he has no idea who her friends are. He isn't sure why that it. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that for a long time now the only girl he has seen has been her. She smiles at him again as her friends disappear round the corner with curious glances back at them and he grins broadly down at her revelling in the fact that he now has her alone. It was better to do it alone than in front of other people because then there was less embarrassment. Lorcan didn't tend to get embarrassed though. Lysander was the one that was more easily embarrassed.

'I was wondering Lucy if you'd like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?' he asks just stopping himself from rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

He can see the light die in her eyes as his question came to an end and she takes a step back from him shaking her head. He feels crushed in that moment as chaos erupts in her eyes and he tries not to look disappointed but fails miserably and he tries to grabs her hands in his but she won't let him. He tries to say something comforting but his mouth doesn't seem to work and it feels like a void as spun out between them and there is nothing he can say that can stop the chasm getting wider and wider, deeper and deeper.

'Lor, I ...' she stutters before she turns on her heel and runs down the corridor as fast as her legs will carry her and he is left standing on the pieces of his shattered heart because he never really knew that it was going to hurt like that. Somewhere in the back of his mind is anger because he knows why she is like that and he knows why she is scared and it has nothing to do with him. She would have reacted like that with anyone because she broken now and he knows it. She has been broken for a while.

:-:

He turns into himself and he knows he is worrying his brother but he really doesn't want to tell him what is wrong. He thinks over and over at the way her eyes filled with chaos and the way she stuttered as she ran from him. He slowly tortures himself with it because he knows that he should have handled the situation better and he knows that he should have known that it was too soon for her. It had been almost a year now though and yet she still didn't trust men so much. She had been in love with bloody Brett Wells and he had trampled all over her. He had broken her heart and now he is the one paying the price, the one wallowing in misery because she cannot get over it.

He wants nothing more than to confront her, to talk to her but now when he calls out her name she doesn't look round and instead hurries away. He knows that she doesn't want to talk about it and all her can do is curse Wells under his breath. He doesn't want to talk about it when Lysander figures out what is wrong and retreats further into himself trying to work out how he should have gone about asking her. He thinks he should have maybe discussed it with her beforehand. He thinks he should have let her know that he is not that guy and that he would never ever hurt her. That's what she is scared off after all. She is so scared she is going to be hurt again and it doesn't matter that she has so many people that she can rely on for strength she never wants to be put in that position again.

She should have taken a chance on him. He knows that he would look after her and cherish her and never let any harm come to her. He just needs her to understand that but she will not speak to him. She is too embarrassed to even talk with him now even just as friends. He has to find some way for her to speak to him. They have always been friends and right now he misses that friendship because he is the one she always confided in. He was the one that made her laugh, that made her happy. Now she distances herself from him and he can't stand it.

:-:

So he goes to find her because damn it he can't take it anymore and all he really wants, all he really needs, is to speak to her again. He wants her to smile at him again and to laugh when he tells her some silly story and he wants her to turn and her eyes to light up when he calls her name. It's childish he tells himself but since when did being childish ever stop him. So he wanders through the corridors hoping to catch sight of her and he will not call her name to alert her to his presence because then she has the opportunity to run away before he can even get close to her. He can't seem to find her anywhere in the corridors and his heart sinks when he realises that she'll probably be up in her common room, safe from him. So he turns and heads to the library because it's only place he can think of being right now. He can't face the hub and noise of his common room and he strolls through the library doors with his hands in his pockets. As he moves between the shelves of dusty old books he catches a glimpse of strawberry blonde hair in the corner of his eye and he turns to see her sitting alone at a table with a heavy book open in front of her.

He hovers for a few minutes just watching her as she sighs and flips her hair over her shoulder before she tries to concentrate again on the book before her. He smiles to himself as he watches her and then looks around to see if there is anyone else around. He satisfies himself that the only other person in the vicinity is the librarian, the ancient Madam Pince. He swallows nervously feeling quite unsure of himself which is something that he has never really felt before. He has always been sure of himself because he has never felt the need to be embarrassed and up until two months ago he had always been the out-going, friendly person that was never bothered by what people thought of him. He has always cared about what Lucy thinks of him though.

'Hey Lucy,' he says quietly trying not to frighten her as he walks up to where she is sitting. She swings round a little startled to see him standing just behind her and she immediately begins opening and shutting her mouth but cannot seem to find the words. He smiles at her a little and then pulls out a chair to sit down beside her. She looks flustered as she begins to close the heavy book and pulls her bag up on her knee.

'Lorcan,' she says as she tries to shove the book in her bag hastily, 'I was just leaving. I've got to go and ...'

He grasps her hands gently in his stopping her from ramming her book into her bag. She looks up at him her teeth biting slightly into her bottom lip and he can see the chaos that is still in her eyes. He sighs and looks down to where her hands are gripped in his and he is rubbing his thumbs on the smooth skin on the back of her hands. He slowly looks back up into her crystal blue eyes.

'I'm sorry Lucy,' he says softly. 'I should have known that it was too soon for you. We should have talked about it and I shouldn't have asked you out like that. I just want you to know that I am not him and I would never do anything to hurt you.'

She stares at him as he sighs and then leans forward to kisses her softly on her cheek. He lets go of her hands then and rises to his feet. He gives her one last smile and walks away heading for the door hanging his head and knowing that with every step he takes away from her the more it is going to hurt him. He never meant for it to be like this. He didn't want it to be like this but it was her choice and now he is going to have to bow out gracefully without complaint because how can you complain when the girl you love just isn't ready for you to love her?

He reaches the doors and pulls one open and he doesn't look back because he is afraid of what he will see, afraid of how much it might hurt him. He finds it strange. He has never been really afraid before but he is because of her. He knows that there is nothing he can do and he just has to accept that she isn't ready yet. Maybe she would be one day and maybe she would think of him. He didn't believe that though and he knew it was just something his head was telling his heart so that it wouldn't hurt so much anymore. He feels rather foolish as he passes through the doorway and the door swings shut behind him. He is foolish for believing that it was real and that she could feel it too. Maybe if he told people he believed in true love they would laugh at him and say that it doesn't exist just like they say about Nargle and Plimpies. He believes in it though. He has seen his parents and they can live a lifetime in just one look and he really wants that. He really thought that Lucy wanted that too, with him.

'Lorcan.'

Her voice calls after him in the corridor and he comes to a standstill. He wants to turn around but isn't sure if he should. Would it hurt him more? Slowly he turns to see her standing at the other end of the corridor, her hair wild and he can just make out the tears in her eyes. He wants to take her in his arms and tell her that it's okay and that he understands that even though he loves her that he'll wait because he knows that she isn't ready. He watches her as she breaks out into a run but this time coming to forward him instead of running away and he doesn't know quite what to do as she reaches him and throw herself into his arms. He catches her as her weight falls against him but he doesn't stagger. He can feel her arms tight around his waist as he wraps his own around her shoulders and holds her tightly to him the soft material of her robes rubbing against his arms.

'I'm sorry,' she whispers just then and her voice almost breaks his heart and he pulls her tighter to him as though trying to smother the pain from her. He doesn't want her to be sad and he knows that she is apologising for hurting him and that she is sad because she hurt him but he doesn't want her to be.

'It doesn't matter,' he tells her gently. 'I'll get over it.'

She shakes her head wildly against his chest and pulls back from him to look up into his eyes and he can see that the tears have spilled down her face like droplets of silver rain. He cups her face in his hands and uses his thumbs to brush away the tears and she shakes her head once more.

'I don't want you to get over it,' she says in a raw voice. 'I want to try.'

He looks at her intently and tilts head slightly like a confused dog and that makes her laugh. His heart leaps at the sound of it, the tinkling bells that are her laugh and he smiles down at her glad to have made her laugh once again. She smiles back at him as her laughter dies and rubs her face against his hand a little like his cat Moo does. He moves his hands from her face down to her shoulders were he grips them tightly and stares into her eyes quite serious for a moment.

'Are you sure? If it's too soon, I can wait.'

She shakes her head and his face splits into a smile once again.

'Well I suppose we can try.'

:-:

He looks back now to that day and all he can do is smile and look down to where Lucy's head is resting on his knee. She is asleep as he plays delicately with her strawberry blonde hair and he looks around the empty bedroom. He knows she has had an exhausting day and it went wonderfully and it almost made him cry especially now as he remembers that day. He doesn't regret it and he knows she doesn't either and he is so glad that he decided to confront her that day in the library. He smiles to himself as he looks down at the glorious purple dress that she is still wearing and he feels a little cruel as he gives her a little shake to wake her up. He smiles as she groans slightly and then looks up at him sleepily.

'Come on, love,' he says softly, 'you'd better take off your wedding dress.'

* * *

_I hope you enjoyed it.  
It was a little rushed._

_Kerr X._


	3. You Belong To Me

For The Sixth Challenge of The Forum Wide Competition

**House:** Ravenclaw

**Prompt:** Write About a Missing Moment Using a Character  
From a House You Have Not Previously Written About

* * *

&& you are _beautiful_  
all I can do is stare  
the p a i n is forgotten  
it just **doesn't hurt** any more

Your face is i m p r i n t e d  
on my brain, my _heart_, my **soul**  
the brown eyes  
the dark hair.

:-:

**Tears** are on my cheeks  
I hadn't even realised  
because, _my darling_,  
all I can **do** at this moment

Is stare at you.

Your face is like seeing the sun  
and it **blocks** out everything else  
I can hear the_ faint_ sounds  
of other people talking  
but there is n o t h i n g  
that is **more important than you**.

:-:

I am so_ tired_ right now  
&& I could really use some sleep  
but I will not **drift away**  
I can't take my e y e s

from your face.

There are so **many things**  
I am thinking  
There are so many things  
_that I feel_  
you are so o v e r w h e l m i n g.

I have been under _your spell_  
from the moment I saw your face  
I belong to you  
**&& you belong to me**

**:-:**

There is nothing h a r d e r  
than someone _calling my name_  
because I have to **tear my eyes away**

&& it stings.

If I could hold you any tighter  
I would probably c r u s h you

I **can't let you go**  
it would _hurt_ too much.

:-:

I could stare at you for **endless hours**  
until the _sun falls _out of the sky  
I could lay here and watch you  
and think of n o t h i n g else at all

**But your perfect face**.

:-:

My name is called  
&& I turn my head  
r i p p i n g my eyes from **you**

I smile at your _father_  
I know what he wants

I don't want to let you go  
**you belong to me**.

:-:

I relinquish you r e l u c t a n t l y  
&& I feel _empty_  
without your weight in my arms  
**I can't take my eyes from your face**.

I see your father s m i l e  
as he _falls under your spell_

:-:

When he **speaks**  
it's about your name  
how could you be a n y t h i n g

_But James_.

* * *

_Please bear in mind that I am as sick as a dog.  
Well what did you think?  
I must admit I have never written a freeverse from First POV.  
So it was a little difficult.  
Who of you guessed it was a Ginny/James fic?  
Which of you didn't realise that until you read the above line?  
As always reviews are like snuggly bear hugs to me._

_Kerr X._


End file.
